Today is French film Monday. I have no classes this afternoon, so I stopped into Blockbuster and grabbed about 6 movies (2 for mom & dad). I got three of them free which rocked. I grabbed LeDivorce (awful), Love In The Afternoon (cute...it's Audrey Hepburn, how can it not be?), and Amelie (my number 2 movie): all French or set in Paris. I got a fourth movie, but it has nothing to do with France, so I'll leave it unsaid.

Did I mention that both of my parents are unemployed at the moment? This doesn't strike me as normal. Although, because of dad's disability, he's still able to help out with rent. I don't know what to do about it. Mom "has a job," but it still hasn't started because they're not sure it's going to. It's her dream job, but the company she's supposed to go work for is in a suit over a grant.

Ah well, let's focus on the positive at hand. I'm gorging myself on movies. Yumm.

...whenever I'm with him/something inside starts to burning/and I'm filled with desire/could it be just the devil in me/or is this the way love's supposed to be/it's like a heat wave burning in my heart/I can't keep from crying, it's tearing me apart...

The training last week had me all torn apart. I spent Friday night and a good portion of Saturday in a daze trying to calm my head down. I didn't pass the pre-test, so I'll have to try again in two weeks. Those three days of crazy concepts and formulas had me running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I was in a serious pickle trying to form sentences. Bah. I'm still exhausted.

To sum up the weekend: Friday night was all sorts of unexpected. First there was Trevor with Kristin (whaaa? that happens about once every three months), then there was talent night with Brian and Billy. How fun. Then of course there was Trevor going home without Kristin and me ending up at the Donut Stop. Good times.

Saturday we had a tiny gathering at Matsu Sushi for Kristin's birthday. Trevor and I suprised the crap out of her. It was good times. I called it a night a little early when we stepped out and started swimming around in the giant pool of humidity. I was planning to go home when I realized it was still early. I went and saw a movie, all by my little lonesome.

After Lindy in the Park, Kristin, Sam, Leah and I went to the new Target in Crossroads. We all bought clothes. I brought mine back in my house, and somehow Trevor and Kristin ended up taking it with them. So...it'll probably be a while before I get any of that back.

Woo...nothing really new to report. Trying to figure guys out. As always. Mom and a friend of hers want to set me up on a blind date. We'll see. I'm not thrilled about the idea of my first date being a blind date. Especially since I've had to wait 25 years. I think at this point, I can afford to be picky about the way I meet someone. Bugh.

It's weird to know I won't have anything to do tomorrow night. Hm.

Boys and girls, don't forget your fan tonight. Not kidding, it's hot as Hades out there and I can't imagine it being much better inside (in fact, I don't have to imagine anything...I'm half tempted to go see John Tucker Must Die, show up late, and leave early--and yes, that's how annoyed I am with all the sweating). C'est la vie.

Tonight I pass out the ladies sleepover invites. There's a lot of them. I got two extended stay rooms at the Bellevue Settle Inn. They have a kitchenette in one of the rooms and a heated pool. If everyone shows up, it should be good times. The lady even gave me a discount, so it should be GREAT!

So, I didn't pass the greenlight today to move on to the Series 7 on Tuesday. I'm considered too much of a liability to take it yet, so good news guys, I have a little more time to study and get the concepts. I am absolutely exhausted from the last few days and am excited to be not thinking about much again. I say that, and it sounds bad, but I've been in a very absent mood the last couple days with all the crap crammed in my thoughthole.

Boys and girls, no word for sure on the air on Friday. Be on your toes. We may need fans. I'll post on Friday for sure.

Sometimes, sneaking around places is fun. Sometimes getting situations where you have to sneak around thrown on you is more fun. Sometimes knowing things and not being able to tell anyone and all of a sudden they're privy to that without you having to say a thing is the most fun...cause then after you're done sneaking around, you can talk about it, and you had nothing to do with that person finding out.

I love bal-swing. Not as much as I love charleston, but yaknow. I don't have to.

I saw this picture online and just thought it was appropriate for how I feel now.I have a major test on Friday. I'm nervous to say the least, and I do not want to study. I'm in trouble. I know. Not a good way to go about things.

My belly button itches.

I'm fasting this week. I've been researching it a little and I know I've been doing some major crap to my body lately, and I believe a juice fast (so I'm getting some nutrition) is in order. I started today and my oh my did my body react pretty fast. I already feel somewhat better losing all that unnessicary crap in my body. Sometimes that works right, and sometimes it doesn't. I'm burping an unnatural amount, but still, this time seems to be okay, being it's the first day.

Best wedding reception ever. I believe it was Christy who said, "It was the wedding reception that all other wedding receptions strive to be." Amen, sister. Amen.



About halfway through the reception, things were beginning to get a tad on the stagnant side for me, so I believe I said, "Screw it," and kicked my own ass up to the dance floor and boogied the rest of the night away. I have never closed out a wedding reception before in my life. Never. Last night was a night of firsts for me. I won't mention all of them...but I will say one of them involved getting smacked in the bum by a certian likable asshole who then yelled, "Shake it, Becki, shake it." Good Lord there were so many drunk kids there last night. I about turned around and took his head off, but I decided against it for reasons that need not be gone into.

And now for something completely different, I got stung by a bee on the bottom of my foot today. I was getting clothes out of the dryer and stepped right on a dead bee. It still had it's stinger on it and dangit, it hurt like crap. I'm okay though. I still managed to dance the day away with no further insult to injury.

Woo. I need to update more.

So after a lovely little fiasco involving the sun and two days off nursing said fiasco, I am up and running (albiet a little itchy), and rarin' to go. Only two days to the weekend and boy-oh-boy am I excited. OH! And tonight is Project Runway, so now I'm doubly excited. AND I rented The Libertine, so I'm tripley excited. OOOOOHHHHH...and I have bal-swing tonight...so naturally I'm more ecstatic about that than anything, so booya.

I have nothing to report really. More stuff on the outside than on the inside right now. Scary, eh? I will say that the new The Killers single is awesome. It might be about me. I'm not confirming or denying at this point, but it might be.

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined it when you were young.

PS. No air again this week...bring a fan.

Sorry for the late notice guys, the air is still out at the Lodge! Please, please, please, please, please x infinity bring a fan tonight!!!

In other news, no one got all three. First one's Lucy, the one with the pills and gun is Lindsay, and the last one is Tim. If you had clicked on them to see the big versions, you'd have seen their names in the urls. Sorry.

Woo for The Godfather tonight though!

...it's much better to face these things with a sense of poise and rationality. I'm not really a rational person, but woo, this is my 250th entry in this blog/journal. I'm preparing a small treat for you in what is commonly referred to as the shape of a "sketch dump." Enjoy!















If you click on the pictures, it'll take you to the actual size of the picture and will be easier seen (and will probably look a lot better). There are three of them that are folks you know reimagined. Bet you can't guess which three are which and who. CHALLENGE! If you can, I'll pay your way into JNO Friday night!

Sometimes I think I understand movement and music better than English, and I have what some people might consider to be an outstanding grasp on the English language. I think I have a better sense of hearing and physically interpreting sound than I do letting down the gate of my tongue. It's an odd thing to admit, because it brings up room for people to judge me and my interpretations. I grew up singing and making music. I don't play an instrument now - in my younger days I've played the guitar, the bass, the clarinet, and the piano, but singing and making melodies all my life has helped me to cultivate an appreciation and an ear for rythym and pulse and an automatic response to not just hear a beat and attack it, but to hear the entire song and in turn respond to everything going on.

The fact that my body has followed me in this endevor astounds me. A year ago, I never thought myself physically capable of making any movement that could be recognized as interpretation. I could sing. Singing has it's own interpretation, but doesn't involve a ghetto booty or put anything obvious on display. Any fears and hesitations are easily hidden or swallowed away when singing. Physical interpretation is visual and fears and hesitations are painfully obvious, and when involving a partner, occasionally disasterous.

Writing is a non-issue for me. I have a deep understanding of the creating and editing processes - when I have them readily available, I use them without fear because writing is such a private experience. Speaking on the other hand, sometimes it's hard to decide on a moments notice what's going to come out and how it's going to affect people who hear it, or how it may or may not ruin me (ha!).


Is there a point to this? Not really. I was just thinking of things I've said in the past year in regards to guys I've liked and how I admit to moments of weakness too fast and not even days later I've changed my mind and can't really take any of it back because the words left my mouth, and now I just look terribly boy crazy instead of making it sound like I'm just observing and favoring.

So, I went to see Superman Returns yesterday. I want to know why no one warned me how much Brandon Routh looks like Christopher Reeve? Not really my point. I was reading through the history of how this sequel came about, and I've heard of stuff along the way (I was the comic queen back in jr high and have carried qualities of that through my life since) and I can't believe they went with this script. I'm alomst completely certian that the Kevin Smith/Tim Burton version would have completely kicked ass-even the JJ Abrams version-because hey, all three men are amazing writers/directors.I'm not saying I was dissapointed in the acting, because for the most part is was precious and precocious, but the story was so weak and terribly dissapointing.

I'm thrilled with Brandon Routh after seeing him, however, Kate Bosworth is by no means Lois Lane. Lois is brash and calculating, snoopy and fearless, never admiting to having any faults and not soft by any means. Kate Bosworth was a puppy the entire movie. I do not embrace a cuddly Lois Lane. Now Parker Posey as Kitty Kowalski? That was a brilliant move. It is true, she steals every movie she's in whether or not she's the main character. I lub, lub, lub, lub, luuub Parker Posey. Kevin Spacy as Lex Luthor? Meh. Could have been worse. Good times.

When we are dancing
And your dangerously near me
I get ideas, I get ideas
And I want to hold you
So much closer than I dare to
I want to scold you
'Cause I care more than I care to
And when you touch me
And there's fire in every finger
I get ideas, I get ideas
And after we have kissed goodnight
And still you linger
I kinda think you get ideas too

Your eyes are always saying
The things you're never saying
I only hope they're saying
That you could love me too
For that's the whole idea, it's true
The lovely idea that
I'm falling in love with you

- Dorcas Cochran

I remember a few Independence Days in my time. I remember the one where dad made the homemade ice cream and we went out to the Base Lake for fireworks. I remember when we went to Ron Riddle's church and watched the Rosenblatt fireworks. I even remember last year sitting in the skybox at Rosenblatt feeling the heat from the fireworks, they were so close. This year though, this year beats them all. I had no idea last year when I went driving down 72nd Street and saw all those crazy folks sitting on the side of the roads, not one clue.

Ralston is called "The Independence City" for a reason. This year, the 3rd drew hundreds with all the weekend festivities closing down Main Street (total inconvienence) and today the parade was HUGE. People lined the parade route in droves and I saw so many people I knew! It was hilarious. I had heard rumors that things got a little kooky around here, but this is an all new high. It was nice out today, which means no one in the parade died of heat stroke, but yeesh, it was still nuts.

I had my hippy, folk-singing friends from my home church over, the adopted sister, and even invited the neighbors over for a potluck, a mini-concert/sing-a-long with Kyle, s'mores over the firepit, and of course, fireworks. I had the *greatest* time. I have the greatest spot for watching the fireworks. It was such the family event. I *loved* it. It was so no-pressure and virtually cost-free to me.

So, I believe I have another tradition on my hands. I'm so happy with all the memories I've created in my home. It's awesome. Never has there been a better 4th...although the homemade ice cream wasn't too shabby either.

Thank you to everyone who was able to bring a fan last night! It was disgusting and next week will be more of the same. It's going to cost the Eagles quite a penny to fix all the wiring issues that will afford them to get the air conditioner up and running, so if you're able to bring a fan next weekend, DO IT! PLEEEEEASE!

This is the official announcement ladies: Due to a flat tire that I had to pay an arm and a leg for and couldn't afford to pre-pay for a suite, we will not be having the sleepover on the 8th, it will instead be moved to Saturday, August 5th. I do apologize for the confusion, and quite frankly, I realize it sucks, but tires happen.

In the meantime, there are plenty of birthdays this month that can be celebrated and moreso weddings to be attended. It is event central month, I'm sure. So, get the sleep while you can (I got my first solid 8 hours in three weeks last night, would have been more, but I decided to go for the shower before bed last night so I wouldn't have to wash my sheets this morning).

You ever open up a fortune cookie, or read a Jones bottle cap and say to yourself, "I like this one, I hope it applies?" Yeah, I got a Jones bottle cap that said, "You will be opening a new chapter in your life." I have no idea what that means, but I'm not anticipating it being the best chapter ever. Granted, I think a few things will be great and apply, but I also have the feeling one or two things are on the horizon that don't strike me as things to be fearless about. I continually find myself on the verge of brokenness because things hit the edge of terrifying and work themselves out.

I'm finding myself at a very apathetic place right now. I hope it's just because of the heat, because that's never good. Just a warning.