Sometimes I think I understand movement and music better than English, and I have what some people might consider to be an outstanding grasp on the English language. I think I have a better sense of hearing and physically interpreting sound than I do letting down the gate of my tongue. It's an odd thing to admit, because it brings up room for people to judge me and my interpretations. I grew up singing and making music. I don't play an instrument now - in my younger days I've played the guitar, the bass, the clarinet, and the piano, but singing and making melodies all my life has helped me to cultivate an appreciation and an ear for rythym and pulse and an automatic response to not just hear a beat and attack it, but to hear the entire song and in turn respond to everything going on.

The fact that my body has followed me in this endevor astounds me. A year ago, I never thought myself physically capable of making any movement that could be recognized as interpretation. I could sing. Singing has it's own interpretation, but doesn't involve a ghetto booty or put anything obvious on display. Any fears and hesitations are easily hidden or swallowed away when singing. Physical interpretation is visual and fears and hesitations are painfully obvious, and when involving a partner, occasionally disasterous.

Writing is a non-issue for me. I have a deep understanding of the creating and editing processes - when I have them readily available, I use them without fear because writing is such a private experience. Speaking on the other hand, sometimes it's hard to decide on a moments notice what's going to come out and how it's going to affect people who hear it, or how it may or may not ruin me (ha!).


Is there a point to this? Not really. I was just thinking of things I've said in the past year in regards to guys I've liked and how I admit to moments of weakness too fast and not even days later I've changed my mind and can't really take any of it back because the words left my mouth, and now I just look terribly boy crazy instead of making it sound like I'm just observing and favoring.