Since there's only one other theater playing it that I only heard of today for the first time, we're meeting at my place at 6:30/7pm and heading over to the OakView AMC 24 to see the 7:25 showing!

Pass it on!!!

Well kiddos and cadets, I, on occasion have thrown a movie night or two and have no intention of stopping because until we die, there are an infinite amount of Thursday nights that can be preoccupied with just about anything. This Thursday, even though we are all broke as a joke, is no exception.


Granted, movie night is usually just a rental put on in my living room, this Thursday movie night installment is not going to take place at my house, and it is not going to be free. We'll be meeting at Troy and Merinda's place around 6:30 (I'll get more specific as Thursday draws near) and heading over to the Twin Creek Theater to watch the 7 pm showing.

Any and all are invited to attend. We'll do a carpool from Troy and Merinda's to the theater and back (because it's a 3 minute drive). No need to bring shoes since there won't really be enough room to dance in the aisles. Just bring enough for the movie and refreshments if you'd like.

If I get enough interest between now and then (MEANING: post if you're coming or not, by private messaging me on the Jitterbugs Joint Forum, on my Myspace, here on my Blog, or hell, even call me to let me know), I'll try calling up the theater and seeing if we can get some sort of group rate.

Okay kids, you know the drill, pass it on.

So, I find myself continually at odds with "the lonlies." I have this place that I seem to come back to every time I get depressed, and typically it has something to do with the fact that I'm not really satisfied when it comes to relationships. It's a terrible but very familiar and comfortable place to find myself. Yet again, I am there.

This is in no way a plea for attention, but I've recognized that I'm at a place where I don't like myself to be. That faroff look in my eyes lately is likely to have something to do with me being tired, yes, but moreso because I'm depressed - and when I'm depressed, I'm easily sleepy, even after a full night of sleep, because my brain doesn't really shut down long enough to feel refreshed.

I'm sure parts of it are spurred on by the fact that my mother won't let it go and doesn't stop holding it over my head
that I failed this test. I'm sure parts of it are spurred on by things my grandfather said to me when I went to visit him and mom just started spouting off in front of him. Part of it has to do with the fact that I'm worried about the future, long term and immediate. Nothing like a mix of unemployment and a morgatage, eh?

What I'm saying is that I'm feeling a little vaunerable right now, so if I act a little more guarded than usual, I'm sorry. I'm trying to keep myself from doing anything stupid.

So, due to public demand, I have made a slight revamp. I know you're greatful. No need to thank me. Guh.

Monday I start the job search for real. Bah.

Mom got the job, and the grant was granted so she starts her job the 28th.

*le sigh*

Sorry there's not much to report. Here's a joke:

Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road?
A. To show his girlfriend he had guts.

I shall be out of town tomorrow and Thursday. I'll be visiting the grandfather in Missouri.

I will of course be seeing The Graduate in September because I have now seen Rumor Has It... If you haven't seen it, you may or may not want to wait until you see The Graduate. One is supposedly about the other. Of course, rumor had it The Graduate was based on a true story when Charles Webb originally wrote it. Hmmm...maybe since I have the time on my hands, I'll read it between now and then.

I bought the new Christina Aguilera today. I've been pretty stoked about it's possiblity. I've only listened to four or five songs off the two disc set, but so far, I'm pretty thrilled. I imagine I'll play at least one of the songs on Sunday. I imagine it'll be the same way with the Idlewild soundtrack. Even if the Village Voice tore the soundtrack apart. For shame.

I know I've had one or two folks tell me that there's no way another swing movement is in order, but I think it's possible the music will momentarily entertain the limelight. It'll probably be brief and understated. Maybe this time though, instead of Rockabilly (sorry guys, not that big a fan), maybe people will find themselves drawn to more actual Jazz Era music.

It's 5 pm. I think I'm going to do some laundry and take a nap.

I have this suspicion that life isn't finished throwing me curveballs this season. Why should it be? Even if it be that people have suspicions about me and make snap judgments that, although basically unfounded (because I never really give anyone a good reason to believe anything about me) are somewhat true. Sure, who am I that people would think about me when I'm not really around...meh.

I've been trying to make some decisions on what to do about certian people and situations in my life. Some heavy thinking situations. I'm never really one for moving things forward, hell, half the time I really just talk a big talk. It's all the matter of putting myself out for rejection. I'm not really expecting acceptance because when does life owe me anything, but I'm really frustrated at the thought that I'm always the one holding myself back.

I've had some discussions with Sam and The Other White Becky in regards to casting my pearls lately. Sam went with me to home church Tuesday night and the topic of discussion was on being devoted to one another. Granted, there are several points in my life where this is affective, but one in particular has seemed to invite itself into my head more than others.

It's a common delema. Do I go for what I want? Not care who gets hurt if there's the chance that someone will? Do I put it all out of my head and wait? Do I put it all out of my head and move on again?

Jen (Holly & Sarah's mom) once observed that I fall hard. I do. I think the rub lies in the fact that I'm terribly loyal, too. If it comes down to love or loyalty, I'd rather go with the loyalty, because there's a preset condition of love in that. Right?

Well kittens, it's official. I pooped out. I got canned today, not because I'm a bad worker, but because I couldn't get the terms and conditions to make sense. You can all be horribly dissapointed, but I kept my memory hat on, I came up with pneumonics, I read and re-read until I couldn't think. It just didn't stick. I was forced to try my hand at something new, knowing full well that I was, for all intents and purposes, perfect where I was.

My boss told me today that she has no problems writing me up a recommendation. She told me straight to my face that I was an asset to the team, to the company even, and that in this case, there was nothing she could do. And there was nothing she could do. She can't control the way I understand things, reason them out, the way things process with me. She can't. I appreciate her grace.

Katie came and found me at the HR desk. She walked out with me. I appreciate that so much. It's bad enough to feel weak and be exposed. She was, if for a moment, my shield. I'll miss talking to her all day at work, but I'm glad I got to know her, I'm glad we're friends now. She's awesome.

You know when you hear a song and you're not sure, but you know without a doubt it applies? I heard a cover of the song "Float On" in the John Tucker Must Die movie. It stuck with me. It's keeping me from exploding today.

We both got fired on the exactly the same day...
Well we'll float on good news is on the way...

Well, I can't lie to you. The closer it gets to tomorrow morning, the more horrified I am that I don't actually remember anything I've read, anything I've heard, anything I learned enough to be tested on it. I've had stomach trouble for the last three days and am hard-pressed to think about anything other than what will happen once I'm fired. If you're the praying type, I could use one sent my way.

Of course, now my mother has all the ammunition she needs to have at me. This is not the time, so also, if you could add that into your prayer, that'd be awesome because I don't want her within even earshot of me for the next 15 hours. She's done nothing but dissaprove that I haven't studied how she feels I should. She's on the verge of harassing me and I'm so close to the end of my rope right now that I could just about snap her head off if she looks at me weird again.

Needless to say, things are pretty tense right now.

Just so you know, I adore you all. I don't tell you all enough, but I do. *Smooches*

Happy Bonus Friday! I took the majority of my bonus and paid some bills, naturally. I also did a bit of shopping with my Old Navy coupon today and got four pairs of argyle socks, two tanks, two tees and one hoodie for 20% off. Yay! The hoodie has already come in handy, thanks to the folks who keep my house sooooo cold and spend my money like it's soup.

I'm going to be half an hour late to JNO tonight. I'll be at the Dundee to see Strangers With Candy. I've been looking forward to this since I first heard it was announced. I used to watch it on Comedy Central and loved it. Amy Sedaris is hilarious and I enjoy a good girly gross out every once in a while (ex. Dirty Love or The Sweetest Thing).

I'm doing a little bit o'laundry right now waiting to leave for the movie. I'm playing with the laptop so I can listen to music. My speakers are quiet as a mouse and the main computer's speakers are blown. Either that or the sound card is a bit screwy because none of the forward sound is coming out. Bah. I'm a fan of the laptop.

Wednesday night, I was sitting in Trovato's with Kristin. Christy had left the table, and we were waiting for Sam to come back to help pay the bill. In the mean time, we could hear the folks at the table behind us clear as day. Their conversation lulled and he sighed and then we heard, I kid you not, "Durka durka durka durka." We about died. I had tears in my eyes. Team America: World Police...if you have a sensitive stomach and are easily offended, don't do it. If you're a crude, rude, animal dude -- go for it. Good times.

I'm trying not to be in denial. I was given the ultimatum today to pass my pretest or be terminated. I have seven days to do this. Everytime you see me, ask me what I've learned. You may only hear babble, but trust me, I need you to do it. Also if you see me spouting off about it, please test me. Ask me if I'm lying. I'm good at making things sound more impressive than they are. I'm a damn good liar when I want to be. So I'll warn you right now that I am and I need you to know.

I'm in need of some roomates starting mid-September/mid-October. Three to be precise. If you or anyone you know has a steady job, isn't creepy, is responsible, and of course needs a place to live, let me know. You've all been over. There are no specifics yet.