Well, I have a weeks-worth of all this crap stored up. I'll try to keep this from getting that long though. I will say that I do feel loved by the people that I know are supposed to love me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm all alone this week and being alone is one of my biggest fears. Too many things have happened this week.

I feel so see-through. It's not like the whole fishbowl analogy. I've lived that before. I know how that feels. I just feel like I'm standing right in front of people, requesting an audience with them, and they don't even see me. I've been given the sham so many times this week I could be a bleeding heart John Mayer song. Bah.

i.e. I went to church this morning (our church is about 30 people, consisting more or less of kids, probably eleven adults in all). My parents had doughnuts this morning, but they're currently in Arizona, so they asked me to take care of it, which would be the logical choice, seeing as they live with me. I get to the church with three bags of groceries in my hands and I look at the doughnut table and it's full. Apparently the pastor's wife has taken care of the issue. She's called my brother-in-law and my sister and not bothered to call me. She actually says to everyone in the room, "I forgot about you." Which, if that isn't bad enough, my brother-in-law and sister didn't think of me. I saw my sister last night. Ungh.

If it's not see-through, it's rejected then. Too many sighs from too many people. I mean, am I missing something? I'm not a desperate person. If I'm terribly annoying, then people haven't thought it enough to blow up on me. Maybe I can appear pretty forward sometimes, but most of it's done in humor.

i.e. Not giving this one out. It's a little embarrasing.

The only person I have any desire to be in the same room with right now is the barista from Moxie Java. So I'm gonna take a walk down there, maybe put everything down on paper. I won't be answering my phone for a while. If Kristin calls you looking for me, I'll turn my phone on later.

HAPPY REX MANNING DAY!!!



Ah yes, today was Rex Manning Day at the beckstraordinary household. The epic tale of those silly kids down at Empire Records was seen by all who bothered to show up (by which I do not mean the ones who called me, even if I didn't get back to you, I still hold high regard for you...the ones who didn't even bother with the phone, I stick my tongue out at you).



I made my famous Rex Manning Day cupcakes - funfetti with strawberry icing & sprinkles. I still have about 15 of them left. Heather brought Eric and Romeo (her beau and her new puppy). Holly showed up (yay!). I popped in a couple episodes of Sealab 2021 for Holly and Kristin, and we learned about how Captain Murphy is/was HIGH-larious. Billy, although under the strictest of orders, showed up at 11 anyway (sleepy mcsleepervilles), but totally made up for it by bringing a spread and a ton of movies. Kristin picked out I *heart* Huckabees, and we busted a gut. Lindsay showed up and the party was complete. There was fun and sleepy feelings had by all.

So, I know I've been on the "guys" topic for a while now, and there's no real segway into the issue from where I was. Soooo...

It's funny telling my story again. I keep meeting new people and the subject always finds it's way to relationships somehow. I think I should just become mute or start to lose my voice when people ask me about guys anymore. I know I don't believe cliches anymore, and I'm pretty sure I've learned to mistrust my instincts. I do have the feeling I'm missing out on something, and people just keep perpetuating that. Well, people - my sister...nah, it's people. So, I guess as I go on lonliness is inevitable, but at least there are periods of apathy or ignorance to look forward to. Heck yeah.

bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.

boring. boring. boring...

Edited to add:

So the folks are out of state again. I did some dog shopping this week before they left just to make me feel better about the situation, but I have realized that my time for pets is past. Not that I don't like the poopies, but I get a little more sick than I used to, a little more easy than I used to. So, other than advertising to the world that it's just me for the next week, I just have to fill the week up with stuff to keep my mind off the fact that I'm alone in my house (which is, in all reality, pretty big for just one person).


On a side note, my best friend's birthday was today. Damn Milford (not really, it's just irritating not to have her around anymore). Bah. I have no idea how we've lost touch so bad. I didn't remember it at all. I feel like a brick of stinky cheese.

Happy "Clean The Dirty Room Beast" Day, kiddos! My stairway has become a hub for all of the crap I leave downstairs and don't take upstairs. There are clothes and magazines and bills and goofy Valentine's Day socks with giant lips on the heels instead of little pom-poms that need a home somewhere in my room where I can't fall over and die.

I've finished watching season one of Gray's Anatomy (the wicked awesome Valentine I bought for myself), so I've lost that excuse...unless I move on to the Sealab 2021 season one excuse. Hehehe...I actually plan to start that one later on today though - after I start my laundry. I'm a bad laundry starter-upper. Well, actually, more of a bad laundry finisher-upper than a starter-upper, but who's really judging me on how wrinkly my clothes are as long as I don't smell like butt.

Ah, to tame the beast...the dirty room beast that has nested it's ugly little self in my room. Only good times will be had domesticating it though. Unless I'm able to come in direct contact with it while I have a trash bag in my hands. Mwahahahahahahaha...!

I've started a new mixed cd list. So far I've gathered Ben Folds, Kings Country Queens, The Ditty Bops, Thicke, Bleu, and Roisin Murphy. Looking for a little more indie honky tonk type stuff, maybe some comedy music...I may actually have to look up some Weird Al for this. I'm really into the accordion and the dulcimer lately. Oh! I'm also looking for some really peppy ragtime. Anyway, it's been fun looking for the music for this one since I've moved on to learn some sweet moves that require a shift in music prefrence...any suggestions would always be appreciated.

And now for something completely different:

Dear boys (although by boys, I mean the three of you in general),

There are too many of you out there complaining that you have no one to date, that you're lonely, or that you wish someone would like you like *that*, and yet I'm 25 and have only been ignored or rejected. In spite, you all seem to hold a deep unbelief and an unending knowledge of this little factoid. So, some of you have some damned explaining to do.

Fussfully yours,
Bacco

Edited to add:
I had a friend of mine message me with this response.

Going to the movies, kids. It's Saturday night and Dazed And Confused is playing at the Dundee tonight. Iiieee!



What a week. How do you describe in words the silliness that has ensued over the week? I do not know. Thus, I shall move on with my life, remembering only that many an innapropriate joke was shared by many, many.

So, I got a wicked awesome Valentine's present from the same person who gets me wicked awesome Valentines presents every year. I know, but hey, there's no one else who's opted to do it instead. So, in honor of myself, my internal blatherings, and that winged thing with the crossbow, I give you a song:

[The Ditty Bops - There's a Girl]

There's a girl that you might know
She's a friend at least I tell you so
But it might surprise you to find
There's something going on behind the door

When I'm asleep it gives me time to think
Thoughts that I wouldn't dare speak aloud
I couldn't bare myself before a crowd

I bide my time while biting my tongue
Hold closed my mouth so song is unsung
Get to the meat of things already
With buried secrets the ground is heavy

That's just the way things used to be

There's a girl who's close to me
Closer than you'd like to think
Dig up all the dirt you see
There's always more just underneath

I bide my time while biting my tongue
Hold closed my mouth so song is unsung
Get to the meat of things already
With buried secrets the ground is heavy

That's just the way things used to be

(gracias Cliff...)

So kids, here are some rockstar pictures, not all of them...actually none that were actually taken by Kristin or Trevor, but pictures the same. Enjoy.

Alanis and her rodie made a brief appearance.




I have a title for this next one. I like to call it, "Fire Crotch." HA!



Here's Garth getting pretty fresh with one of the Gallagher brothers.




There was a bit of drama with Britney, Garth & Kevin...Kevin of course, a little slow on the uptake himself.



Watch out Kevin! Garth's moving in on your girl!




Jack and Meg White graced us with their presence...



There was a little drinking, a little dancing, a little show from Prince and Bjork (holy crap, man - what a performance!)



And finally, a couple lovely profiles:

Rockabilly Bottle...



Short Skirt, Long Jacket...



Tom Jones (From: God - To: Women)...



Tori Amos...

Yay: Great party this weekend.
Boo: Back to the old work schedule

Yay: Downtime.
Boo: I opened my mailbox & found the schedule I put in for was declined.

Yay: There's still the possiblity of the escalations job.
Boo: They're postponing any announcements due to some new schmo corprerate crap.

Yay: Watched my niece & nephew for an hour & a half.
Boo: Nephew slept the entire time.

Yay: Got to go dancing with my sister tonight.
Boo: She & Trevor had a skirmish about it yet again.

Yay: Went to Eli's & hung with Josie & Brian.
Boo: Went to Millard Legions Club first & was completely out of our element, turned around, and vamoosed right out of there.

Yay: WON BEN FOLDS TICKETS ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!
No more boos for the day.

So, I thought about taking time to hibernate this week after such an intense month of party planning. I thought about it. All of a sudden, my parents are taking their vacation, so I'm left here alone in this house. Well, will be Wednesday through Monday anyway. I hate being left alone anywhere for any extended period of time. I should start making arrangements now for a firepit night. Any good movie suggestions are always welcome. Friday night is taken care of, but the rest of the weekend is pretty free to sit around and freak out.I'm sure this wouldn't feel so hard if I were a turtle. I mean, it's not like a turtle ever has to think about anyone else being home.

As soon as I figure out how to work my scanner, I'm gonna post some art. I've been inspired lately. Mostly by Alice Through The Looking-Glass. Maybe that's what I should do this week. Actually get the book and read it...or rent it. Although that might stir up more trouble than it'd cure. That Lewis Carroll...you gotta wonder what it was he was on.

I'm waiting for Kristin to bring over the camera to post the party pictures. I know you're all waiting...I'm not ignoring you.

T minus 2 days!

Let me tell you, if you ever get the inclination to seperate bags of M&Ms by hand, you better be prepared to wear something to keep your lips watertight. It took a lot of restraint on my part. I will not even try to lie. I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you'll ignore my weaknesses. My mom helping me, on the other hand...

Kristin and I have finalized the night's main event. You thought it was drunken karaoke, I know. Not at all. Yessssss... I'm so excited I haven't been able to concentrate on a damn thing at work. Gah! Oh, and I'm not telling anyone until they get here. Yeehaw!

Iiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, frankly.

Bow to the Joplin of all things rock.

Tina "She's Got Legs" Turner

The Material Girl...and how.

Alanis Morrisette: The Coming Out Of The Dark Ages

T minus 3 days...I kicked myself in the pants tonight. I went all over to get food for the party. I got the perfect party accessory and about died when I saw something else that's chilling in the refrigerator as we speak (yessss!). I'm gonna have to keep some things tucked deep inside me so you don't all chicken out at the last second. Lets just say, "game on."

In honor of our three last days of rockstar party preparations, I'm gonna have to post a few pictures of my favorite rockstars.

Mick Jagger & an Aston Martin - I don't know which one was dreamier.

Jim Morrison...*sigh*

One name needed: Hendrix.

Prince: another example that monarchy is screwy, but hot.