I got a suprise application in the mail today (which wasn't so much of a suprise as I forgot I sent for it). I'll be sending it out within the next two weeks (after I figure out how in the world to find my ACT score). I figure there's no harm in sending it out. It's a step closer to something I've always dreamed of.

I was afraid of showing the app to my folks because they've always shunned the idea of me being anywhere but where they are...and it's a semi-expensive school. I eventually let them know what that big white envelope on my floor was and they did something completely out of character for them. They took it a step further and are trying to figure out how to help get me there.

My dad said something to me today he's never said to me before. Granted, I got him at a low point because he was sick today, but hey, I'll take what I can get. He said, "Becki, just follow your dreams. Even thought it's been hard, I've become a better man for it." It's a BIG change from, "No."

Exciting, no?

Can you pay my bills?
Can you pay my telephone bills?
Can you pay my automo' bills?
If you did then maybe we could chill...

- Destiny's Child - "Bills, Bills, Bills"

Lovey dears, working full-time is wonderful in certian respects, like: Oh, I'll be paying off two credit cards next Friday. However, I dare say the hours and time off are inflexible and driving me to cabin fever. I also think my cubicle is effecting my sight. I'm not entirely sure I can see far distances anymore. Ugh. I'm even watching Office Space right now...not sure it's doing me a world of good.

...but boy how I love my Starbucks Tazo Chai. It's cool and creamy on the tongue and burns holes all the way down. Yum.

Against all odds, I signed up for downtime at work today. I got to go home at 11:30. It was lovely. I cooked dinner for the family and went to buy some new pants. All was well until I got home and realized the security tag hadn't been taken off. It's one of the ink tags, so I'm trying the freeze method first. My pants are in the freezer as I write. Great, huh?

I have plans to read, write, paint, and listen to an obscene about of music this weekend. Lord willing, I'll also be going to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Looks like fun on the big screen this weekend. I'm on an entertainment/creative binge these days. Its the only thing that's keeping me from just running away. Wheee...

Good lookin' kid, eh? Makes my Friday nights worth it. Sad, I know.

And Tom is a lovely person who deserves all the best in life. Thanks for the journal and a really BIG thank you for the postcards! It was a happy ending to a very sucky week.

Dear Lord in Heaven above...this has been one of the most obnoxious weeks in my entire life. I swear, if they ever make a time travel machine, I'm coming back to the moment I filled out my Master's Commission application and saying "eff it." I'll just run off to some school my parents have no agreement of and do whatever the hell it was I wanted to do in the first place. Then maybe I wouldn't end up here.

Turns out my lease is barely legal (even though the old manager managed to justify it all away in her head somehow) and the apartment manager decided to mention it in front of some of my friends out looking at the apartments. My boss keeps coing at me with crap and looking at me like the wheels spinning in her head are spinning, "Why can't I just fire her?" My head is being innundated with stories to where I'm having a hard time concentrating on much of anything. It's just too much.

I've been flying off the handle. I need a new life or something.