Why is it that family members are always the most volital relationships in a persons life? Why is it that God made family to be the hardest barriers to break when it comes to a complete life? You share the same blood running through your veins, but sharing the fact that you want to say "no" to that blood sometimes is, in fact, a no-no. Yes, they can feel free to bully you, and bully you, and bully you, but try to fight back and blood is shed.

I had a psuedo-fight with my dad and sister because of something my mom volunteered me for. Kristin is so pregnant at this point that she's just pissed off at me to the point where she accused me of not taking responsibility for my actions (which I have from basically the beginning). Then dad gets pissed off because I've pissed off a pregnant woman who happens to be his baby girl. And of course, mom's off in Chicago where she can get away with everything, scott free.

Damnit.

Taking stock of a year in which you've come no closer to meeting your goals than when you started is nothing but haze. I'm a little closer to owning my car, but I am no closer to owning a home. The place I wanted to buy on Mission St. has been sold to someone who hasn't made anything of it. I am still no closer to figuring out what in the world I'm going to do. I feel as lost as ever and although a lot of things are looking up, a lot of things are as muddy as they ever were, so I'll give you the highlights so you don't feel as down as I'm making you.

~I got to vote and although people will razz me for voting Bush, I voted the President in.
~I wrote 8 chapters of something that I haven't finished, but it's there...for when I finish it.
~Steel Magnolias auditions. I can still make people laugh. It felt good. I have auditions again Monday.
~Bass lessons. I can play Smoke on the Water.
~Woo-hoo...boys who play me -- directly or indirectly. Good times.

Happy November Birthday to me!

The moments that I see things clearly are few and far between. Everything's a little hazy these days...hazy vs. gauzy is a big difference. Gauzy is good, oblivious, hazy is not so good and slow. We'll go into this a little deeper as the days go on.

(I can play the riff for Smoke on the Water, now. Yay Deep Purple!)

I'm becoming a bass player. It's a slow coming process, but I'm playing. I can read music again and can be relatively competent with my fingers. I'm still not completely sure how callouses on my fingers are supposed to feel, so I'm thinking I just don't have them. Or I don't recognize them, or I haven't been playing long enough. Who knows?

I spent the entire week watching the 3rd season of Alias. It was great. I love that show, it slays me.

Sunday is my birthday. I think I know what my parents got me. Dad said it's green and gray. It just hit me that it's probably the 3rd season of The West Wing. If I'm wrong, I'll be okay with it, but I'm willing to bet money.

I'm basically paying money to flirt...moreso than learn the bass guitar. I can't help myself. I know the talk and thus the jokes come naturally. I will say that I have learned something. I will also say that a Squire bass is an automatic ticket to freakin cool...wicked ass cool, actually. I will be continuing these lessons until I can no longer afford it...or until I'm a master.

I went to go visit a friend today. It's been a good six months. I had a feeling it'd be a short visit, but they shot me down completely and wouldn't even see me. Ah...c'est la vie. He's a jerk anyway.

I'm a voter...yaaaaay...now I can complain if I don't like what happens tomorrow or by sometime at the end of this weeeeeeeeeek. (I'm singing this by the way. Yes, singing.)