one classy broad
Not So Tempted By The Fruit Of Another...
So, Kristin and I invited a gaggle of folk over to her house to hang Sunday night. I was at Target picking up a few things and called her to see if she wanted anything else. She said that no one was coming and she was tired. The only person who'd sounded interested in coming was Dana, and that was only after karaoke. So, I invited myself to join her and Monique (sure, now you're interested).

We wait around for the game to end (which took [go Huskers!]). By then we were all talked out and weren't sure we were gonna stick around, but we just kinda never left. So, Monique gets up to sing and she perks up. Then Dana gets up and sings, and by then, I can't help it, I pull one out.

As I'm looking for a song, a really familiar kid walks in. I know he swing dances...not often, but enough that I remember his face. Monique and Dana then proceed to freak out because they know him as "Creepy Guy" who hit on Dana aplenty and tried to do ariels with her with no sense of propriety. While I'm up singing my song, I notice Creepy Guy paging through one of the songbooks.

We sit through a song or two until he heads up. The music starts and Monique and I look at each other and gasp, "She BANGS?!?" Okay, so maybe a mistake since visions of William Hung are dancing around in our heads. Turns out Creepy Guy can sing. There are a few other things that Creepy Guy can do. He can work a crowd...

We giggle at the fact that he's moved across the makeshift stage and is singing to a girl. Giggle like school girls even. Then he proceeds to move out into the crowd and stops in front of a girl who stands up and starts getting her freak on with the poor kid and smacking him in the keister...He then removes his jacket and starts it flying over his head like a propeller. When his song is done, the three of us have physical evidence of tears on our faces.

Monique got up and sang her signature "Kissing A Fool," which, if you haven't heard her sing it, you're totally missing out. She kicks that song's ass. While she's singing, Creepy Guy hands the host another song. On her way back to the table, Creepy Guy asks her if she remembers him. I believe she said her response was something along the lines of: "After tonight, I'm pretty certian I'll never forget you." Yes, she did. And he took it as a compliment. When she told me, I said to her, "If he comes over here while he's singing, you're totally fired."

After Dana sings another one and I lead Monique around the dance floor, Creepy Guy moves in for another song. "You Spin Me Round."

We're sitting at our table when a gal comes up and asks us if we take swing dancing classes and talks about "how refreshing it is to see people dancing other than that booty dance the girls do." No my friends, we had no warning, because no sooner had the words come out of her mouth, than Creepy Guy was at our table, trying to give Monique and Dana the hard sell.

Dana has nowhere to hide, so she basically slides under the table, so Creepy Guy turns to the girl who was talking to us. Yes, my friends, she starts doing that booty dance she was so refreshed that we hadn't done. We're all dying. DYING I tell you.

When Creepy Guy walks away, guy who will henceforth be comended the name "Colombia" because he told us afterward he was from Colombia, Missouri, starts talking to us about how Creepy Guy basically thinks he's sex on a stick. Colombia apologizes for Creepy Guy and then comes to our rescue. He prances like a little girl up to Creepy Guy who has moved back up to the makeshift stage and dances for him. Colombia had some smooth moves, too, and will forever in our hearts be the hero of karaoke night.

Anyway, after Monique and I completely kick the ass of Squeeze's "Tempted" (a] Monique said that I was more black than she & b] some guy mentioned that it was nice to hear a soul version of the song - HA!) Creepy Guy comes up to us and thanks us for being good sports about the entire thing. Then Colombia interrupts the conversation and asks Creepy Guy for his number, totally being an asshole (the kind that warm your heart though, not the kind that disgust you), and Creepy Guy gets the hint and leaves.

Turns out Creepy Guy's name is J.W. If it doesn't mean anything to you, then just take it on good faith that it's HILARIOUS.

Mari here (you know, the crazy one with really sporadic swing habits). Just wanted to say 'hi' and Oh, My, Gosh, this post is freaking hysterical!