So, I have several men in my life that this applies to, so don't think it's specifically for one or another, it's for most of them. It's meant to have humor and be drop dead serious, all at the same time. Enjoy.

1) I am a woman and I deserve respect. I have birthing hips and that means without me, the world will not go on.

2) I would rather have you say "no" than ignore me. If you don't know, say "yes" and get inside my head until you know. Then say "no." I respond much better to "no" than to being ignored. "Maybe" and "later" without immediate follow up as to when "later" would be are also unacceptable forms of battery and neglect. So, let your yea's be yea and your no's be no.

3) Unless there is a legitimate excuse for your behavior, dating a gal then turning around to ask her about other girls is almost altogether inexcusable. Legitimate excuses include: Amnesia or an extremely stupid lady friend...you'll find either to be few and far between.

4) It is completely innapropriate to joke in a sexual manner with any female twenty or more years younger than you unless they start the banter. This is harassment, and although I may be too polite to point it out, it makes me undeniably uncomfortable. Also, if I try playing the witty banter card with you, encouraging you to stop, you'd better listen to me, because the more you ignore what I'm trying to say, the less I respect you and the more I am likely to start a crusade in protest to get other women to join my cause.

5) If you are easy to talk to, are constantly surrounded by women, and are even remotely easy on the eyes, we all have a crush on you. Self-depreciating humor is only charming for so long. Then it gets terribly annoying because there is a fine line between charming and pathetic and you're more or less towing said line.

6) I am not in it to win it. I am not here for games at all. I don't know how to play them and I don't bother. I am straightforward. If you do not notice my advances, then I am probably not making any. If you think I may be making them, but are not completely certian, ask. I tell it like it is.

7) Don't flirt with me and not understand that you're going someplace that I don't get to go to with any consistantcy. Understand what you're getting yourself into. Flirting can be a joy and I can be adult about it if it's clear it's just flirting. If I feel I've been made a fool of, I do not tolerate it and have a tendency to become guarded and hard to talk to.