Edited To Add:So, I was talking to my sister today about things. We're okay now. Discovered there was some miscommunication between us and that's why things had gotten so bad. We did discuss a few things that I'm a little frustrated about, there's no real resolution about a few things, but she knows how I feel.
So here's what the deal is. No more talking. No more talking about people no matter how much I do or don't like them. It's gonna take time, but it's something I'm going to work on.***
You know you want the perfect words on an occasion like this, where things are more touch and go than ebb and flow...
I don't know how to say it otherwise.
I went to two parties tonight. One I felt very relaxed at because I sensed no garbage and had no one I felt like avoiding. The other one (which is terribly unfortunate that I discribe this way because on one hand, I had a blast...albiet a guilty one) although full of shennanigans and people that either were or were considered to be family, I felt like I was tiptoeing through a minefield.
I won't lie, my heart is heavy. Hiding things isn't easy, especially if it's from someone you love. Where do I draw the line and decide that I have a voice in things? Do I say, "Hey, you've become someone else. I don't know you anymore and I don't like who you've become." Do I wait until everyone has said their piece and when they come crying to me tell them, "All those people weren't exactly wrong?"
I find hiding things from people who bring out the worst in you is also torture, When do I get the right to tell them to step off? How do I do that without invalidating their person? You ever get those brilliant flashes that go completely against anything God would want? Just say, "Hey, I was talking to God, and well, when one door closes, another one opens, and He said this one's not the one that's open." Yeah, I'm waiting for the lightening to strike, too.
Eventually those I'm speaking of will find this and know exactly who they are. I'm hoping to find some way to approach it carefully, because I know the consequences of getting it out the wrong way could end up in quite the desert and dire straits situation.
In the immortal words of Charlie Brown, "AAAAAARRRGGGHHH!"