one classy broad
I Hear You Sing Softly To Me...
I’m threatening bad poetry here. I just want you all to know before I do it. Well actually, I’m not sure I will; I may just go with song lyrics instead. When I was in high school and going through intense creative writing classes and writing all the time, I used to promise myself I wouldn’t write when I hurt or when I was angry. More often than not, it produced pathetic attempts that would have been more thoroughly thought out and more potently expressed with a clear head.

Tonight was by no means a bad night. I had a good time. Right now and the way I feel is a collection of things. I’ve had an epiphany that the hole is still here. I go through long periods of time where I ignore it and occasionally hit nirvana and forget that it exists. I’ve spotted those scars that I keep covered up so well.

I’ve been thinking about all those things that I miss missing. When I was younger, I thought I had it all figured out. I knew who I was going to be, what I was going to be doing, who I was going to be doing it with, when it would all start and how it would all come to fruition. I miss being so sure of myself and my future. I miss the present that my youth promised. I don’t know that it would be any better, but I imagine life would have proved a little less disappointing if I’d achieved even half of those things.

No poetry. Didn’t mean I didn’t write it, it just means I’m saving you all, and as bad as it gets, still, at least I’m inspired.

I know ultimately I’m not alone in this.

I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out…

(lyrics courtesy of Mat Kearney)
Blogger SuzieQ said...
I had a horrible horrible night, too. :( All the things you were talking about kind of sounded a little like my tht's cool that there's more out there somewhat like you, but not cool because it sucks...It amazes me how people (including myself) hide secrets, scars, etc. and how no one really knows. Maybe it's because some people put on such a great act...I know I do. If you ever want to talk, I'll listen. I know I'm awfully young in age...but hopefully that doesn't matter to people.

Bye...see you tomorrow?

Blogger Becky said...
I agree with Suzie on this one. So often I read your blog and think "that's exactly it!" because so many times I am thinking and feeling what you are saying too. you, though, have the courage to come out and say it in your blog, and I keep it all to myself.