Oooooo last night. Things got a little carried away at a certian party after the clock struck twelve (which mama always said nothing good can come out of anything after midnight). I don't know how I came out in the end, bruised and bloodided or just a little more comfortable with everyone. I'm even scared to mention it because my ego took a bit of a punch last night with a certian joke from a certian blood relative that I still love, but know crossed a line I don't think she realized she crossed.

I will forever do away with the underscores though. She wanted me to cut it out and I didn't listen to my sister, and sisters...sometimes are worse than brothers when it comes to pressing the issue till said issue is the next morning's bird cage liner.


I do believe one of the issues that remains with me from the church I grew up in is the whole implications of sexuality in mixed company. Now, high five Jesus will forever remain part of my life, in whatever company, because, sometimes you just feel the need to tell him that life is so great, and there's really no other way to tangibly show Jesus that doesn't end in the word "amen" (in that matter, I am silly, but it's no big deal to me anymore). Anything however that crosses that line, I'm still uber uncomfortable with because it's one of the things I've never been bothered with pushing through.

As long as I can remember, I've just been the celebate type. Something out of unfounded fear, something out of being brainwashed for so long, something out of the fact that no one's ever shown me any interest in going to any other place in any type of relationship with me, and a little out of the fact that it's never been an issue anyone's forced me to deal with so I'm kinda "meh" about it now. It appears that with my sister being such a candid person (which she's always been, but rarely around me) I might have to figure out where I stand on certian things.

God help us all.