I don't know what it is anymore that keeps me awake more than going to church where I go to church. That period of my life is almost over. I have three more weeks teaching Sunday school, then I leave Bellevue Christian Center for the rest of my life. I leave it behind completely. I stayed up voluentarily last night until about 4 am doing laundry because I simply could not sleep. I have not announced I am leaving to anyone but my family...which is probably not a good idea. I'm thinking of doing a mass email to update everyone on the current status of my life because only God knows how many people see this thing regularly.

So last night I figured for the next five months, if I pay out $250 a paycheck, I'll be out from under the church completely. I have a debt with them that I'd ask for forgiveness from, but I just don't have enough faith in the leadership. Then December. Then the next three months after that, my credit cards will be paid off. All in enough time for me to start school. I thought about publishing again. I don't know how for the life of me, but I thought about it. I also figured out my BMI after reading an issue of TIME on obesity. I have to lose 80 lbs. At least. Losing 110 would put me at a normal BMI. I'll experiment. We'll see how that goes. It may have just been an insomniac's momentous incarnation.

So, I'm also up two hours early. That's why I'm here, writing this, at 7:13 am. I ache in every place imaginable. I'm going to clean up and get breakfast.

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