So, the days are filled with daydreaming, the nights are filled with dreams, and that uncertian inbetween time is spent debating reality. I told mom yesterday that I was sorry she ended up with a daydreamer. I apologized for being so flighty. She asked me if I ever found myself in a fog...she was trying to search for depression, but I'm not depressed. I told her that no, more often than not, I'm standing in the center of a four-way stop with a shop on each corner that I really want to go in...the problem is, I only have enough time to go in one. Then mom butts in with, "Yeah, but if you don't make a move pretty soon, you're going to be hit by a bus." I told her I'd actually prefer that. She chuckled and asked me why. I told her it's pretty hard to miss a bus if you're plastered onto the front of it. We laughed. It was a fun analogy.
I've been debating the political sciences again. Too much West Wing probably, but then again, I did it in high school...(the daydreaming about getting caught up in politics) and it was always a good time. I always have these grand ideas for Bellevue (guh, forgive me, but I love Bellevue). I have all these crazy ideas for blowing up the economy of this town...taking money to make money. We need so much, we need an art center, Hayworth park has the potential to be beautiful (even if it overlooks the Mighty Mo), it'd be nice to have our own radio station, Old Towne has soooooo much potential to be a hub, the Capehart area (military housing) needs a new high school and jr high, we need a community college, it'd be awesome to try to bring in a professional team of some sort... We have the room for it all here, it'd create a ton of jobs, the economy would eventually bust at the seams. I dunno...I can see it all, I just don't know if I have it in me to fight to do it all. I'd have to learn so much before I could attempt it. Which brings me to my knees because I don't want
to go to school. Not at all. Bah.
Which brings me to the subject of apathy...I've hit a wall. Or a glass door...not sure which. Both are imagined and both are powerful.